My dear ones, I shall now express myself in a way that is somewhat foreign to me. In other words I intend to discuss a matter that is both trivial and also of little, if any, interest to anyone but myself. As you can see this differs greatly from all of my previous postings.

I intend to discuss the elusive and most charming of all LJ writers, it barely needs stating that I here refer to fake and spurious accounts.

There are of course many reasons to create a fake account on any of these rather silly sites, naturally, stalking springs to mind. My favourite fakers are suicides as well as accounts created merely to cause dissension and pestilence within the Miss Marples of the blogging world, by this I mean those who go to great lengths to uncover fake accounts.

Now as part of Trolling is held to be wasting others time, while going to as little effort as possible, this clearly is an avenue to be explored in some greater depth. Let us say that if one were to create three accounts, one say suffering from an illness, tragedy or perhaps even abuse, another to expose your fake account to the charming freelance internet dicks and another to stand by your unfortunate fake. This may sound time consuming, however, it is no such thing. Presuming that one is an average typist and that ones computer is not ridiculously slow, this can all be set up within less than ten minutes. Say fifteen minutes a week to post your particular troubles, information etc, and you will see that this infinitesimal investment of your time will be rewarded with hours of others painstakingly reading through lengthy tracts of dull misinformation and presenting their groups with multiple comments, as well as pedantic and learned discussion, some of these are most pleasingly lengthy and verbose.

As a friendly, indeed the friendliest troll here on LJ, I must remark at this juncture that as all concerned are enjoying themselves, the troll of course is wasting time and causing consternation, while the volunteer sleuths are enjoying showing to the world just how remarkably clever and worldly they are to those they wish most of all to impress. Therefore possums, truly a harmless (if not a constructive), activity to engage in.

Personally I have never been a nurse nor pregnant, either in reality or on the internet, these are of course most popular choices in the fake account world. Suicide and hypochondria have been my articles of choice.

I shall now post a few tips to those that desire to join, or perhaps improve this pursuit. Create many accounts with names that have nothing to do with your intended controversy, leave these accounts to lie idle for a while, this gives you an appearance of validity as does several locked posts, they can consist of nothing more than a heading and a full stop.

Join many groups, don't forget that the Dr Watsons will be scanning all of these for signs of contradiction. Don't just join groups that are about your subject at hand, ie suicides, depression and teen angst, include animal loving ones, music, religion indeed any topic you can think of. Don't forget to collect a goodly number of the more inane type of cereal adder as friends as well as others suffering from your condition/situation.

You really ought to be a member of, at least, three times the number of groups you actually post in, this only involves typing in general interests and joining blindly.

Write numerous posts that are off topic, to you and the shamus's, and quite inane. Make sure you give them some false leads and report yourself from another account. Incidentally, while IP addresses will be sought out, this is most easy to dodge either with a proxy server or just never posting on the same accounts with your numerous identities.

Lie back on your divan, light a cigarette and sip at your odiously sweet cocktail and enjoy the scramblings and clutching at straws that shall now ensue, with any luck, helped by your mole, there will also rage controversy and bitterness between those who believe you to be genuine and those that hold you to be nothing more than a sham and a fabrication.

Is this truly trolling? By definition I believe it is, however, surely acting and comedy are more closer to the mark.


My beloved and revered familiars, it is with some consternation that yet again I feel obliged to post, both upon and within, this vile and inane medium. Yet my dears it would seem that I have not in all conscience any choice, for our beloved, though departed  dumpsterdiva  has pleaded and wheedled with me to return to you once more.

Perhaps I can, as she seems most certain, return some semblance of dignity and decorum to livejournal, failing that no doubt I shall, as is my wont, provide some enlightenment upon the true path of moral purity.

Dear creatures, I shall endeavour to provide comfort rather than censure, though clearly the latter is more deserved.


Well I am very happy to be able to report that dindinand I have become firm friends once more, and after all beloved readers friendship and love is what lj is all about.

Peoples I beg of you to reconcile your differences, for who knows which journal may be deleted next by those vile tyrants and filibusters who make up the intellectually impoverished lj team, by then it would be too late and ever would you burn with shame and remorse, wondering on what could have been.

Lay down your pride and please consider, I beg you.
Also please note the very controversial post I made on heated_debate , just for you gear_eagle , yes I know, rather poor stuff, but that's the point, rather poor group.


Dearly beloved reader,

I am appalled to see the cavalier manner in which I am treated when offering heartfelt advice to an anguished young lady on her possible pregnancy. dindin a moderator for the illustrious am_i_pregnant community claims that my advice for seeing a doctor as regards another members condition has no place in the community.

She seems to regard unorthodox herbal remedies as best suited to the lady in questions malady, however much one may like the idea or believe in the effectiveness of alternative medicine, surely it is unwise to censor (in draconian fashion) the more conservative view.

Please note that this is not a community that espouses alternative medicine versus the orthodox variety, it is purely for giving advice to those who are or may be pregnant, and while it may be trite suggesting an appointment with a qualified practitioner, it is hardly inappropriate.

Or is it? Please tell me if you agree that this statement of mine was an atrocious and unmerited attack on alternative medicine, and my subsequent banning (for this my only comment) deserved.

Also is it actually acceptable to constantly talk in the third person? For example... trollingtroll would like to know the answer to this, dindin (not to be confused with) binbin holds a degree and knows more than most about the properties of slippery elm bark etc.


It is not to be supposed that there is any pressing need to here discuss certain failed foreign policy directives, mandates etc.

However it is I suppose worth considering the fall from grace of certain Western powers due to strongarm tactics, lack of humanity and the like, while these same western nations have spent long discussing and imposing the merits and validity of peculiar local myths, environmental change, feminism, the noble savage ad nauseum, certain rather important ingredients of fiscal might have been allowed to lapse.

Within the deaththroes of the worlds banking power (UK) and the slow dissolving of the military and economic largesse of america has arisen an old and considerable power, of both military and economic as well as political might which may well prove almost supreme.

Naturally I refer to our friends the Russians and their still not inconsiderable empire, though this uprising has been of an open and obvious nature as well as fairly rapid, over the last decade or so, no overtures of a proper diplomatic nature have been carried out, the old alliances of the CCCP remain as do many of the opinions.

While I admire the Russians and am glad to see their rise, as well as (perhaps spitefully) the fall of the insular and arrogant nations that tried to hold it in check, there are certain serious issues that arise, can Russian and Western nations ever in the near future keep imagined ideological differences out of policy?

I bring this matter up, mainly because it came to my head before anything else did, however that being said it is a subject that is being intentionally ignored (in the main) due to its uncomfortable nature.


Pon my sainted aunt, here I am once more, into the breach in fine fashion. I note with some sadness that some more of my illustrious companions have been crossed out in true Lj fashion, others have taken my short absence to abandon me without further ado, faithless creatures and gregarious butterflies that they are.

In regard to certain insinuations that have come to my attention, concerning my propensity for standing people up and thus ruining life and reputation with sinister design, I plead extenuating circumstances.

Any Cartographers out there, willing to be pestered with certain innane questions?


Dear sorts,

Have been perusing this eljay phenomena once again and am most happily surprised to find such charming debonair types upon it, perhaps reminded would be the thing to say here.

After all though it may well be a terribly sordid time waster tis far better than Pacman.

Dearly beloved ones what more to be said?


My dear creatures, what an unmitigated pleasure to once again post my pearls of wisdom and lucid wit to such an appreciative audience.

Though I have Trolled (amiably) various other sites, never have I found one so ameniable to enjoyment and overreaction as this, I have missed you my faithful followers and detractors.

Are there still Furries?