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February 2010
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My dear ones, I shall now express myself in a way that is somewhat foreign to me. In other words I intend to discuss a matter that is both trivial and also of little, if any, interest to anyone but myself. As you can see this differs greatly from all of my previous postings.

I intend to discuss the elusive and most charming of all LJ writers, it barely needs stating that I here refer to fake and spurious accounts.

There are of course many reasons to create a fake account on any of these rather silly sites, naturally, stalking springs to mind. My favourite fakers are suicides as well as accounts created merely to cause dissension and pestilence within the Miss Marples of the blogging world, by this I mean those who go to great lengths to uncover fake accounts.

Now as part of Trolling is held to be wasting others time, while going to as little effort as possible, this clearly is an avenue to be explored in some greater depth. Let us say that if one were to create three accounts, one say suffering from an illness, tragedy or perhaps even abuse, another to expose your fake account to the charming freelance internet dicks and another to stand by your unfortunate fake. This may sound time consuming, however, it is no such thing. Presuming that one is an average typist and that ones computer is not ridiculously slow, this can all be set up within less than ten minutes. Say fifteen minutes a week to post your particular troubles, information etc, and you will see that this infinitesimal investment of your time will be rewarded with hours of others painstakingly reading through lengthy tracts of dull misinformation and presenting their groups with multiple comments, as well as pedantic and learned discussion, some of these are most pleasingly lengthy and verbose.

As a friendly, indeed the friendliest troll here on LJ, I must remark at this juncture that as all concerned are enjoying themselves, the troll of course is wasting time and causing consternation, while the volunteer sleuths are enjoying showing to the world just how remarkably clever and worldly they are to those they wish most of all to impress. Therefore possums, truly a harmless (if not a constructive), activity to engage in.

Personally I have never been a nurse nor pregnant, either in reality or on the internet, these are of course most popular choices in the fake account world. Suicide and hypochondria have been my articles of choice.

I shall now post a few tips to those that desire to join, or perhaps improve this pursuit. Create many accounts with names that have nothing to do with your intended controversy, leave these accounts to lie idle for a while, this gives you an appearance of validity as does several locked posts, they can consist of nothing more than a heading and a full stop.

Join many groups, don't forget that the Dr Watsons will be scanning all of these for signs of contradiction. Don't just join groups that are about your subject at hand, ie suicides, depression and teen angst, include animal loving ones, music, religion indeed any topic you can think of. Don't forget to collect a goodly number of the more inane type of cereal adder as friends as well as others suffering from your condition/situation.

You really ought to be a member of, at least, three times the number of groups you actually post in, this only involves typing in general interests and joining blindly.

Write numerous posts that are off topic, to you and the shamus's, and quite inane. Make sure you give them some false leads and report yourself from another account. Incidentally, while IP addresses will be sought out, this is most easy to dodge either with a proxy server or just never posting on the same accounts with your numerous identities.

Lie back on your divan, light a cigarette and sip at your odiously sweet cocktail and enjoy the scramblings and clutching at straws that shall now ensue, with any luck, helped by your mole, there will also rage controversy and bitterness between those who believe you to be genuine and those that hold you to be nothing more than a sham and a fabrication.

Is this truly trolling? By definition I believe it is, however, surely acting and comedy are more closer to the mark.


Brilliant Troll (an most friendly of trolls, indeed) I had no idea that you had written this extensive tract on fake accounts, etc., etc.

I do believe I was travelling during this time period.

I am so happy that you wrote something so near to your heart.

I do apologise for adding the word 'mustering' to the urban dictionary. It was supposed to be a ruse. Please, I beg of you - don't brush me aside as if I were just any old mare. You see, I can bake bread and make jam!

All the best,

Miss Diva

Highly Esteemed Troll

I am beginning a new career....sometime after I decide my extended vacation is over. *ahem* I shall be working with animals. No, my dear, not furries. Real (hopefully live) animals.

Any comments?

Dearest Troll,

I logged onto LiveJournal to get a recipe I had on here under my main account. Guess what? We made Stupid Free and also some lesbian goss!

Tres chic!

All the best to you, my young friend.

Miss Diva

I do feel terrible that I have been such a horrible student. I simply could never get the hang of proper trolling. Perhaps it was because I insisted on getting in on the action?

In my next life I will concentrate on the sipping of my odiously sweet cocktail.

True, very true...

Still, what you lacked in expertise was more than made up for in effort. It is, or so I am told, the thought that counts after all.


Dies ist der perfekte Blog für alle, die über dieses Thema wissen will. Du weißt so viel seiner fast schwer, mit Ihnen zu streiten (nicht, dass ich wirklich möchte ... haha). Sie auf jeden Fall, einen neuen Spin zu einem Thema das ist schon über Jahre geschrieben. Great stuff, just great!

Indeed, this is quite true. Thank you my friend.

Are you at least semi-alive?

I have a hankering to stay up all night and play cards!